| What secret? I'll reveal it in just a few moments. But I'll tell you this... children want you to learn it because it makes growing up much easier for them. Just as you want to be a successful mom or dad, your children want to be successful too. Successful at being a kid, successful at growing up. They really do. But what do they know? After all, they're the new kids on the block to this adventure called life. Parenting Techniques: And Underneath, What They Wonder About and Really Want To Know Is... "What is life all about and what do I need to know to navigate it successfully?" Problem is, they don't have the answers, and nobody is telling them, and they don't know what questions to ask. What if you had just started a new job and found yourself in that predicament? So you ask, "What am I supposed to do?" and everyone shrugs. What would you do? Guess? Take a few stabs in the dark? Why not? Well, children do the same thing, they guess and start doing what comes "naturally." In other words, whatever they feel like doing. After all, if it comes natural, and feels good, it's gotta be okay. Right? Childish reasoning, but if it becomes their internal guideline it simply leads to a lot of bad behavior and the "my way is better than your way" attitude, and unfortunately, a lot of yelling and scolding. Teaching them the overriding principles of life that we all live by, and the matching life skills that make it work, sheds light and understanding on their path, helps them make sense out of the world, which in turn helps them develop their personality, attitude and behavior more than any amount of yelling, scolding, pushing and prodding could ever do. So please read what I have to tell you because once you learn the "Secret" a lot of the usual "normal" parenting problems will simply fade away. Letters from stunned but delighted parents . . . Parenting Techniques: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I tried everything!" "Your method is the only one that worked in getting my 2-1/2 yr. old to stop racing around the house, and I tried everything!" -- Joseph M, Colorado (2-1/2 yr old son) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I was sick and tired of my son's whining" "I was sick and tired of my son's whining every time he had to do his chores. I had to push and prod and listen to him whine constantly. It was driving me out of my mind and I didn't know what to do except yell a lot. The next evening when he started in again, I sat down and told him what you said in your book about being a good worker. I nearly fell over when he jumped up and took out the trash and hasn't whined since! I can't believe it! But I love it!" -- Amy, Edmonds, WA (9 yr old son) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Most exciting thing that's happened this year" "Learning your method of raising children was the single most exciting thing that has happened to me this year." -- Mike, Bellevue, WA (3-1/2 yr old daughter) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Invaluable..." "I was taught long ago that the older women were to help train the younger women. Your experience is invaluable, and God gave you the ability to put it together in such a way that younger mothers can learn from you. Thanks for doing this! Mary Shores : ) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Greatest Parenting Secret in History Revealed by a Mother of Five Dear Mom and Dad, It's not supposed to be a secret, so why is it? Just that somewhere in our world of high technology, higher learning and advanced science, it got lost in the shuffle. Hi, my name is Martha Stevens I'm a mother of five (3 girls 2 boys), all grown now with families of their own. And you know . . . everything I learned in the process of raising my kids came together with great clarity once they were grown and gone. It was easy to see what I should have done after it was over, but the time has passed, they've grown up and my job is done. So, I sat down and wrote the book I wish I had when I was a young mother because if I'd known then what I know now . . . how much easier it would have been for me. Now I want to pass it on to you, to shorten your learning curve. But please take a moment to get the information below. It's like no other parenting information you've read anywhere else. Learn from me If I can help you to avoid some of the stumbling blocks and pitfalls it will not only help you, but also your children who will be able to grow up with the kind of coaching and mentoring they need from you in order to blossom to their fullest potential. You will also grow into your fullest potential as the wonderful parent you want to be. So, just what is the Secret? It was only after my children had grown that in looking back I could clearly see the twists and turns, the difficulties and the obstacles that children experience in the process of growing up. It also became clear what it was that they really, really needed to navigate through those years without crashing. So I began writing these thoughts down, not intending to write a book, however, having once put pen to paper I just kept writing. But, I won't keep you in suspense. The secret is... Educating the HEART Surprised? So much emphasis is placed on educating the intellect — the BRAIN — that the heart is simply overlooked. The brain gives one knowledge, but the heart gives it ... Direction ... and enriches life in a way that logic alone cannot. In the end, it's not GENIUS (the brain) but WISDOM (the heart) that wins out and makes your life fulfilling One can grow up and be a super genius, but without the emotional balance and steadiness that comes from an educated heart, a person's life may not run as smoothly as they would like, and even wind up being wasted or wrecked. No one wants that for their children. Educating the heart is done by teaching Life's Lessons — the overriding principles that govern our lives — and the matching Life Skills that make it work. Educating the heart develops good character qualities and includes such things as . Parenting Techniques: • Honesty • Kindness • Integrity • Unselfishness • Being a willing and diligent worker • Doing chores without being told • Reaching out and helping others • Learning conversational skills • Making and keeping friends There is much more . . . They need to know the purpose of Rules (creates order out of chaos), and why they have to follow them. They need to know that . . . The way they behave is the way they are treated! In the home: Good or bad behavior earns either the goodwill or anger of the parents and the treatment they get varies accordingly. A child who continues to behave badly simply hasn't made that connection and responds, "What'd I do?" Outside the home: If they behave badly or rudely, people draw away from them and don't want to be their friend. Bad behavior prevents the development of warm and close friendships and can lead to loneliness, depression and other emotional problems. On the other hand, when they behave well people draw close and want to be their friend, resulting in more happiness, greater self confidence, and healthy self esteem. Most kids never figure this out until they are grown up, but by then much damage has been created in their lives. So don't leave it up to chance. Teaching just this one simple concept . . . "The way you behave is the way you are treated" . . . rescues both you and them from much grief. Some people grow up and never get it — they never really get the connection between what they do or say and the way people react to them — often becoming blamers very early on and for the rest of their lives blame everyone else around them for things they themselves are responsible for. Chances are you probably know a few people like that. Educating the heart makes a big difference in Parenting. I taught these lessons to my own kids as they were growing up and because of it they were very easy to raise — all five of them — even through the so-called difficult teens. (Did I mention that for many of those years I was a divorced working mother? So the whole load of teaching, training and raising them fell on me.) If I had realized then how effective the lessons were, I certainly would have been more diligent and consistent than I was. However, I'm grateful for the little I did do because even that made a huge difference. You see, I had always thought my kids were just naturally easy to get along with, to talk to, to raise—and to a certain extent, they were—but after teaching these life lessons to a classroom of kids for several years and observing other parents with their children, and seeing the outcome, I know the lessons made a major difference. "My husband had been talking to me about teaching our son the "life skills" that he was going to need to survive and make it in the world, but I had NO IDEA what he was talking about. He had NO IDEA how to teach or even explain to me what he was talking about, but now I know. "Thank you so much for your work, it indeed has made life much easier in raising our 7 year old." –Melanie In The Schoolroom Teach Parenting? Once a week I teach these Life Skills lessons to a second grade class of 7 and 8 year old kids. I have been doing this for the past six years. The teacher is delighted with the improvement in class behavior and attitudes of the children. No more troublemakers either because their behavior quickly improves as the lessons sink in, and they, too, become nice little kids. Other teachers noticed the difference in the children and asked if I would do the same in their classrooms. The kids love these lessons and look forward to my coming to their class every week. Last year it happened that recess immediately followed my class time, and once when I ran overtime and the recess bell rang, I remarked, "Oops, it's time for me to stop!" The children reacted spontaneously, "No, no, don't stop!" They wanted me to finish what I was talking about. Were Life's Lessons desired more than recess? Yes! Pretty amazing, isn't it? Let me be quick to say that I don't put on a "show" to keep them entertained. I'm just an ordinary person (I think I'm even somewhat boring), I just go in and talk to them about these life lessons ... and the subject matter itself engrosses them. The class is interactive, I draw them out, get their opinions, their questions (they ask very thoughtful ones), and they get to learn about life and what it holds for them, and what they need to do to prepare themselves. And even more important, they become aware of how important their education really is. The teacher is pleased at how much more studious the class became after these lessons. What is it they are so eager to know? Well, life is, after all, a puzzle, and they want some help, some information on putting the pieces together. That's what they want! And that's what they want from you, their parent. It's not enough to make them brush their teeth and clean their room. They want to know what life is about and how to manage it. . . how they fit in. . . why are things the way they are, and so on. Growing up is hard to do and they want to know how to do it right! They really want the answers to questions like . . . • "What is life all about?" • "How do I fit in?" • "What are the rules?" • "Why do I have to follow the rules?" • "Why do I have to do this . . . that . . . or the other thing?". • "How come? . . . who says?. . . so what? . . . who cares?" . . . etc. These aren't "book learning" type questions, they are "heart learning," yet virtually all emphasis is placed on the academics — educating the BRAIN. Of course education is vital for getting through life successfully. However, the problem is that educating the HEART simply falls by the wayside. Parents tend to expect Sunday school to fill the gap, and even though the spiritual overlaps and polishes the other areas in your child, the actual molding of the heart and its emotions must be done in the home by YOU! But how? That is the Big Question in Parenting How do you teach your children to be emotionally balanced? To be good hearted? How do you teach good character qualities and life principles and instill it deep in their hearts? It's really not as hard as you may think. Kids love it, no, change that to . . . they are hungry for it! Why else would the second graders be willing to give up recess? They really do want to know! Teach them using a proven parenting techniques. Letters from the kids . . . (Grammar and misspelled words left intact). ". . . come to my classroom next year" "I learned a lot. I learned that you should think about others just as much as you think about yourself. I liked it when you told us about roots, foundation, and life skills. I hope you can come to my classroom next year. " Rebecca -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I just want to thank you" "Thank you for teach us so many thing like our life skills and when you taught us the conversation and self discipine and I just want to thank you. You help us so much." Veronica -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ". . . never quit" "I learned how to start a conversation, and how to persuade, never quit no matter what. We love haveing you as are teacher. Your the best persin in the world. See you this Friday." Jeffrey -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I learned . . . honesty and integrity" "I really learned a lot in your teaching! I learned good manners and honesty and integrity. I liked all your other lessons too." Gina -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Kids have the capacity to learn and understand some pretty big concepts, like INTEGRITY. Do you know how to teach that? To get it across to them, to actually INSTILL it in their hearts so that it becomes their own inner star that guides them? How much easier to handle would your child be? These 2nd graders had no difficulty with the concept. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Children, like all humans, have Four sides . . . 1. Physical (The Body) You feed, clothe and keep them active and in good shape. 2. Mental (The Brain) You send them to school to be educated. 3. Emotional (The Heart) It, too, must be educated. Done by the parents – YOU – at home. 4. Spiritual (Your Faith) Gives meaning to life. Without it, the other three do not satisfy us. Taking care of all four sides produces a "well rounded" individual. As the parent, your obligation is to see that all four sides of your child are cared for and developed. After all, what are parents for? Are you just a caretaker? A warden? No. You are, and must see yourself as..Teachers, Mentors, Coaches and Guides not only teach their students, cheer them on with praise and encouragement, but also critique and correct them. You'll notice Critic is not on the list. Why Not Learn proven Parenting techniques. |
Recap; What secret? I'll reveal it in just a few moments. But I'll tell you this... children want you to learn it because it makes growing up much easier for them.
Just as you want to be a successful mom or dad, your children want to be successful too. Successful at being a kid, successful at growing up. They really do. But what do they know? After all, they're the new kids on the
block to this adventure called life.
Parenting Techniques:
And Underneath, What They Wonder About
and Really Want To Know Is...
"What is life all about and what do I need to
know to navigate it successfully?"
Problem is, they don't have the answers, and nobody is telling them, and they don't know what questions to ask. What if you had just started a new job and found yourself in that predicament? So you ask, "What am I
supposed to do?" and everyone shrugs.
What would you do? Guess? Take a few stabs in the dark? Why not? Well, children do the same thing, they guess and start doing what comes "naturally." In other words, whatever they feel like doing. After all, if it comes
natural, and feels good, it's gotta be okay. Right? Childish reasoning, but if it becomes their internal guideline it simply leads to a lot of bad behavior and the "my way is better than your way" attitude, and unfortunately, a lot of
yelling and scolding.
Teaching them the overriding principles of life that we all live by, and the matching life skills that make it work, sheds light and understanding on their path, helps them make sense out of the world, which in turn helps them
develop their personality, attitude and behavior more than any amount of yelling, scolding, pushing and prodding could ever do. So please read what I have to tell you because once you learn the "Secret" a lot of the usual
"normal" parenting problems will simply fade away.
Letters from stunned but delighted parents . . .
Parenting Techniques:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I tried everything!"
"Your method is the only one that worked in getting my 2-1/2 yr. old to stop racing around the house, and I tried everything!"
-- Joseph M, Colorado (2-1/2 yr old son)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I was sick and tired of my son's whining"
"I was sick and tired of my son's whining every time he had to do his chores. I had to push and prod and listen to him whine constantly. It was driving me out of my mind and I didn't know what to do
except yell a lot. The next evening when he started in again, I sat down and told him what you said in your book about being a good worker. I nearly fell over when he jumped up and took out the trash
and hasn't whined since! I can't believe it! But I love it!"
-- Amy, Edmonds, WA (9 yr old son)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Most exciting thing that's happened this year"
"Learning your method of raising children was the single most exciting thing that has happened to me this year."
-- Mike, Bellevue, WA (3-1/2 yr old daughter)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Invaluable..."
"I was taught long ago that the older women were to help train the younger women. Your experience is invaluable, and God gave you the ability to put it together in such a way that younger mothers can
learn from you. Thanks for doing this!
Mary Shores : )
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Greatest Parenting Secret
in History Revealed by a
Mother of Five
Dear Mom and Dad,
It's not supposed to be a secret, so why is it? Just that somewhere in our world of high technology, higher learning and advanced science, it got lost in the shuffle.
Hi, my name is Martha Stevens
I'm a mother of five (3 girls 2 boys), all grown now with families of their own. And you know . . . everything I learned in the process of raising my kids came together with great clarity once they were
grown and gone. It was easy to see what I should have done after it was over, but the time has passed, they've grown up and my job is done.
So, I sat down and wrote the book I wish I had when I was a young mother because if I'd known then what I know now . . . how much easier it would have been for me. Now I want to pass it on to you, to
shorten your learning curve.
But please take a moment to get the information below. It's like no other parenting information you've read anywhere else.
Learn from me
If I can help you to avoid some of the stumbling blocks and pitfalls it will not only help you, but also your children who will be able to grow up with the kind of coaching and mentoring they need from
you in order to blossom to their fullest potential. You will also grow into your fullest potential as the wonderful parent you want to be.
So, just what is the Secret?
It was only after my children had grown that in looking back I could clearly see the twists and turns, the difficulties and the obstacles that children experience in the process of growing up. It also became
clear what it was that they really, really needed to navigate through those years without crashing.
So I began writing these thoughts down, not intending to write a book, however, having once put pen to paper I just kept writing.
But, I won't keep you in suspense.
The secret is...
Educating the
HEART!
Surprised? So much emphasis is placed on educating the intellect — the BRAIN — that the heart is simply overlooked.
The brain gives one knowledge, but the heart gives it ... Direction ... and enriches life in a way that logic alone cannot.
In the end, it's not
GENIUS
(the brain)
but
WISDOM
(the heart)
that wins out and
makes your life
fulfilling
One can grow up and be a super genius, but without the emotional balance and steadiness that comes from an educated heart, a person's life may not run as smoothly as they would like, and even wind
up being wasted or wrecked. No one wants that for their children.
Educating the heart is done by teaching Life's Lessons — the overriding principles that govern our lives — and the matching Life Skills that make it work.
Educating the heart develops good character
qualities and includes such things as .
Parenting Techniques:
• Honesty
• Kindness
• Integrity
• Unselfishness
• Being a willing and diligent worker
• Doing chores without being told
• Reaching out and helping others
• Learning conversational skills
• Making and keeping friends
There is much more . . .
They need to know the purpose of Rules (creates order out of chaos), and why they have to follow them.
They need to know that . . .
The way they behave is
the way they are treated
In the home: Good or bad behavior earns either the goodwill or anger of the parents and the treatment they get varies accordingly. A child who continues to behave badly simply hasn't made that
connection and responds, "What'd I do?"
Outside the home: If they behave badly or rudely, people draw away from them and don't want to be their friend. Bad behavior prevents the development of warm and close friendships and can lead to
loneliness, depression and other emotional problems. On the other hand, when they behave well people draw close and want to be their friend, resulting in more happiness, greater self confidence, and
healthy self esteem.
Most kids never figure this out until they are grown up, but by then much damage has been created in their lives. So don't leave it up to chance. Teaching just this one simple concept . . . "The way you
behave is the way you are treated" . . . rescues both you and them from much grief. Some people grow up and never get it — they never really get the connection between what they do or say and the
way people react to them — often becoming blamers very early on and for the rest of their lives blame everyone else around them for things they themselves are responsible for. Chances are you
probably know a few people like that.
Educating the heart
makes a big difference
in Parenting.
I taught these lessons to my own kids as they were growing up and because of it they were very easy to raise — all five of them — even through the so-called difficult teens. (Did I mention that for many
of those years I was a divorced working mother? So the whole load of teaching, training and raising them fell on me.)
If I had realized then how effective the lessons were, I certainly would have been more diligent and consistent than I was. However, I'm grateful for the little I did do because even that made a huge
difference. You see, I had always thought my kids were just naturally easy to get along with, to talk to, to raise—and to a certain extent, they were—but after teaching these life lessons to a classroom of
kids for several years and observing other parents with their children, and seeing the outcome, I know the lessons made a major difference.
"My husband had been talking to me about teaching our son the "life skills" that he was going to need to survive and make it in the world, but I had NO IDEA what he was talking about. He had NO IDEA
how to teach or even explain to me what he was talking about, but now I know.
"Thank you so much for your work, it indeed has made life much easier in raising our 7 year old." –Melanie
In The Schoolroom Teach Parenting
Once a week I teach these Life Skills lessons to a second grade class of 7 and 8 year old kids. I have been doing this for the past six years. The teacher is delighted with the improvement in class behavior
and attitudes of the children. No more troublemakers either because their behavior quickly improves as the lessons sink in, and they, too, become nice little kids. Other teachers noticed the difference in
the children and asked if I would do the same in their classrooms.
The kids love these lessons and look forward to my coming to their class every week. Last year it happened that recess immediately followed my class time, and once when I ran overtime and the recess
bell rang, I remarked, "Oops, it's time for me to stop!" The children reacted spontaneously, "No, no, don't stop!" They wanted me to finish what I was talking about. Were Life's Lessons desired more
than recess? Yes! Pretty amazing, isn't it?
Let me be quick to say that I don't put on a "show" to keep them entertained. I'm just an ordinary person (I think I'm even somewhat boring), I just go in and talk to them about these life lessons ... and
the subject matter itself engrosses them. The class is interactive, I draw them out, get their opinions, their questions (they ask very thoughtful ones), and they get to learn about life and what it holds for
them, and what they need to do to prepare themselves. And even more important, they become aware of how important their education really is. The teacher is pleased at how much more studious the
class became after these lessons.
What is it they are
so eager to know?
Well, life is, after all, a puzzle, and they want some help, some information on putting the pieces together. That's what they want! And that's what they want from you, their parent. It's not enough to
make them brush their teeth and clean their room. They want to know what life is about and how to manage it. . . how they fit in. . . why are things the way they are, and so on.
Growing up is hard to do and they want to know how to do it right!
They really want the answers
to questions like . . .
• "What is life all about?"
• "How do I fit in?"
• "What are the rules?"
• "Why do I have to follow the rules?"
• "Why do I have to do this . . . that . . . or the other thing?".
• "How come? . . . who says?. . . so what? . . . who cares?" . . . etc.
These aren't "book learning" type questions, they are "heart learning," yet virtually all emphasis is placed on the academics — educating the BRAIN. Of course education is vital for getting through life
successfully. However, the problem is that educating the HEART simply falls by the wayside. Parents tend to expect Sunday school to fill the gap, and even though the spiritual overlaps and polishes
the other areas in your child, the actual molding of the heart and its emotions must be done in the home by YOU! But how?
That is the Big Question in Parenting
How do you teach your children to be emotionally balanced? To be good hearted? How do you teach good character qualities and life principles and instill it deep in their hearts? It's really not as hard
as you may think. Kids love it, no, change that to . . . they are hungry for it! Why else would the second graders be willing to give up recess? They really do want to know! Teach them using a proven
parenting techniques.
Letters from the kids . . .
(Grammar and misspelled words left intact).
". . . come to my classroom next year"
"I learned a lot. I learned that you should think about others just as much as you think about yourself. I liked it when you told us about roots, foundation, and life skills. I hope you can come to my
classroom next year. "
Rebecca
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I just want to thank you"
"Thank you for teach us so many thing like our life skills and when you taught us the conversation and self discipine and I just want to thank you. You help us so much."
Veronica
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
". . . never quit"
"I learned how to start a conversation, and how to persuade, never quit no matter what. We love haveing you as are teacher. Your the best persin in the world. See you this Friday."
Jeffrey
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I learned . . . honesty and integrity"
"I really learned a lot in your teaching! I learned good manners and honesty and integrity. I liked all your other lessons too."
Gina
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kids have the capacity to learn and understand some pretty big concepts, like INTEGRITY. Do you know how to teach that? To get it across to them, to actually INSTILL it in their hearts so that it
becomes their own inner star that guides them? How much easier to handle would your child be? These 2nd graders had no difficulty with the concept.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Children, like all humans,
have Four sides . . .
1. Physical (The Body)
You feed, clothe and keep them active and in good shape.
2. Mental (The Brain)
You send them to school to be educated.
3. Emotional (The Heart)
It, too, must be educated. Done by the parents – YOU – at home.
4. Spiritual (Your Faith)
Gives meaning to life. Without it, the other three do not satisfy us.
Taking care of all four sides produces a "well rounded" individual. As the parent, your obligation is to see that all four sides of your child are cared for and developed. After all, what are parents for? Are
you just a caretaker? A warden? No. You are, and must see yourself as..Teachers, Mentors, Coaches and Guides not only teach their students, cheer them on with praise and encouragement, but also
critique and correct them. You'll notice Critic is not on the list. Why Not Learn proven Parenting techniques.
Just as you want to be a successful mom or dad, your children want to be successful too. Successful at being a kid, successful at growing up. They really do. But what do they know? After all, they're the new kids on the
block to this adventure called life.
Parenting Techniques:
And Underneath, What They Wonder About
and Really Want To Know Is...
"What is life all about and what do I need to
know to navigate it successfully?"
Problem is, they don't have the answers, and nobody is telling them, and they don't know what questions to ask. What if you had just started a new job and found yourself in that predicament? So you ask, "What am I
supposed to do?" and everyone shrugs.
What would you do? Guess? Take a few stabs in the dark? Why not? Well, children do the same thing, they guess and start doing what comes "naturally." In other words, whatever they feel like doing. After all, if it comes
natural, and feels good, it's gotta be okay. Right? Childish reasoning, but if it becomes their internal guideline it simply leads to a lot of bad behavior and the "my way is better than your way" attitude, and unfortunately, a lot of
yelling and scolding.
Teaching them the overriding principles of life that we all live by, and the matching life skills that make it work, sheds light and understanding on their path, helps them make sense out of the world, which in turn helps them
develop their personality, attitude and behavior more than any amount of yelling, scolding, pushing and prodding could ever do. So please read what I have to tell you because once you learn the "Secret" a lot of the usual
"normal" parenting problems will simply fade away.
Letters from stunned but delighted parents . . .
Parenting Techniques:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I tried everything!"
"Your method is the only one that worked in getting my 2-1/2 yr. old to stop racing around the house, and I tried everything!"
-- Joseph M, Colorado (2-1/2 yr old son)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I was sick and tired of my son's whining"
"I was sick and tired of my son's whining every time he had to do his chores. I had to push and prod and listen to him whine constantly. It was driving me out of my mind and I didn't know what to do
except yell a lot. The next evening when he started in again, I sat down and told him what you said in your book about being a good worker. I nearly fell over when he jumped up and took out the trash
and hasn't whined since! I can't believe it! But I love it!"
-- Amy, Edmonds, WA (9 yr old son)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Most exciting thing that's happened this year"
"Learning your method of raising children was the single most exciting thing that has happened to me this year."
-- Mike, Bellevue, WA (3-1/2 yr old daughter)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Invaluable..."
"I was taught long ago that the older women were to help train the younger women. Your experience is invaluable, and God gave you the ability to put it together in such a way that younger mothers can
learn from you. Thanks for doing this!
Mary Shores : )
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Greatest Parenting Secret
in History Revealed by a
Mother of Five
Dear Mom and Dad,
It's not supposed to be a secret, so why is it? Just that somewhere in our world of high technology, higher learning and advanced science, it got lost in the shuffle.
Hi, my name is Martha Stevens
I'm a mother of five (3 girls 2 boys), all grown now with families of their own. And you know . . . everything I learned in the process of raising my kids came together with great clarity once they were
grown and gone. It was easy to see what I should have done after it was over, but the time has passed, they've grown up and my job is done.
So, I sat down and wrote the book I wish I had when I was a young mother because if I'd known then what I know now . . . how much easier it would have been for me. Now I want to pass it on to you, to
shorten your learning curve.
But please take a moment to get the information below. It's like no other parenting information you've read anywhere else.
Learn from me
If I can help you to avoid some of the stumbling blocks and pitfalls it will not only help you, but also your children who will be able to grow up with the kind of coaching and mentoring they need from
you in order to blossom to their fullest potential. You will also grow into your fullest potential as the wonderful parent you want to be.
So, just what is the Secret?
It was only after my children had grown that in looking back I could clearly see the twists and turns, the difficulties and the obstacles that children experience in the process of growing up. It also became
clear what it was that they really, really needed to navigate through those years without crashing.
So I began writing these thoughts down, not intending to write a book, however, having once put pen to paper I just kept writing.
But, I won't keep you in suspense.
The secret is...
Educating the
HEART!
Surprised? So much emphasis is placed on educating the intellect — the BRAIN — that the heart is simply overlooked.
The brain gives one knowledge, but the heart gives it ... Direction ... and enriches life in a way that logic alone cannot.
In the end, it's not
GENIUS
(the brain)
but
WISDOM
(the heart)
that wins out and
makes your life
fulfilling
One can grow up and be a super genius, but without the emotional balance and steadiness that comes from an educated heart, a person's life may not run as smoothly as they would like, and even wind
up being wasted or wrecked. No one wants that for their children.
Educating the heart is done by teaching Life's Lessons — the overriding principles that govern our lives — and the matching Life Skills that make it work.
Educating the heart develops good character
qualities and includes such things as .
Parenting Techniques:
• Honesty
• Kindness
• Integrity
• Unselfishness
• Being a willing and diligent worker
• Doing chores without being told
• Reaching out and helping others
• Learning conversational skills
• Making and keeping friends
There is much more . . .
They need to know the purpose of Rules (creates order out of chaos), and why they have to follow them.
They need to know that . . .
The way they behave is
the way they are treated
In the home: Good or bad behavior earns either the goodwill or anger of the parents and the treatment they get varies accordingly. A child who continues to behave badly simply hasn't made that
connection and responds, "What'd I do?"
Outside the home: If they behave badly or rudely, people draw away from them and don't want to be their friend. Bad behavior prevents the development of warm and close friendships and can lead to
loneliness, depression and other emotional problems. On the other hand, when they behave well people draw close and want to be their friend, resulting in more happiness, greater self confidence, and
healthy self esteem.
Most kids never figure this out until they are grown up, but by then much damage has been created in their lives. So don't leave it up to chance. Teaching just this one simple concept . . . "The way you
behave is the way you are treated" . . . rescues both you and them from much grief. Some people grow up and never get it — they never really get the connection between what they do or say and the
way people react to them — often becoming blamers very early on and for the rest of their lives blame everyone else around them for things they themselves are responsible for. Chances are you
probably know a few people like that.
Educating the heart
makes a big difference
in Parenting.
I taught these lessons to my own kids as they were growing up and because of it they were very easy to raise — all five of them — even through the so-called difficult teens. (Did I mention that for many
of those years I was a divorced working mother? So the whole load of teaching, training and raising them fell on me.)
If I had realized then how effective the lessons were, I certainly would have been more diligent and consistent than I was. However, I'm grateful for the little I did do because even that made a huge
difference. You see, I had always thought my kids were just naturally easy to get along with, to talk to, to raise—and to a certain extent, they were—but after teaching these life lessons to a classroom of
kids for several years and observing other parents with their children, and seeing the outcome, I know the lessons made a major difference.
"My husband had been talking to me about teaching our son the "life skills" that he was going to need to survive and make it in the world, but I had NO IDEA what he was talking about. He had NO IDEA
how to teach or even explain to me what he was talking about, but now I know.
"Thank you so much for your work, it indeed has made life much easier in raising our 7 year old." –Melanie
In The Schoolroom Teach Parenting
Once a week I teach these Life Skills lessons to a second grade class of 7 and 8 year old kids. I have been doing this for the past six years. The teacher is delighted with the improvement in class behavior
and attitudes of the children. No more troublemakers either because their behavior quickly improves as the lessons sink in, and they, too, become nice little kids. Other teachers noticed the difference in
the children and asked if I would do the same in their classrooms.
The kids love these lessons and look forward to my coming to their class every week. Last year it happened that recess immediately followed my class time, and once when I ran overtime and the recess
bell rang, I remarked, "Oops, it's time for me to stop!" The children reacted spontaneously, "No, no, don't stop!" They wanted me to finish what I was talking about. Were Life's Lessons desired more
than recess? Yes! Pretty amazing, isn't it?
Let me be quick to say that I don't put on a "show" to keep them entertained. I'm just an ordinary person (I think I'm even somewhat boring), I just go in and talk to them about these life lessons ... and
the subject matter itself engrosses them. The class is interactive, I draw them out, get their opinions, their questions (they ask very thoughtful ones), and they get to learn about life and what it holds for
them, and what they need to do to prepare themselves. And even more important, they become aware of how important their education really is. The teacher is pleased at how much more studious the
class became after these lessons.
What is it they are
so eager to know?
Well, life is, after all, a puzzle, and they want some help, some information on putting the pieces together. That's what they want! And that's what they want from you, their parent. It's not enough to
make them brush their teeth and clean their room. They want to know what life is about and how to manage it. . . how they fit in. . . why are things the way they are, and so on.
Growing up is hard to do and they want to know how to do it right!
They really want the answers
to questions like . . .
• "What is life all about?"
• "How do I fit in?"
• "What are the rules?"
• "Why do I have to follow the rules?"
• "Why do I have to do this . . . that . . . or the other thing?".
• "How come? . . . who says?. . . so what? . . . who cares?" . . . etc.
These aren't "book learning" type questions, they are "heart learning," yet virtually all emphasis is placed on the academics — educating the BRAIN. Of course education is vital for getting through life
successfully. However, the problem is that educating the HEART simply falls by the wayside. Parents tend to expect Sunday school to fill the gap, and even though the spiritual overlaps and polishes
the other areas in your child, the actual molding of the heart and its emotions must be done in the home by YOU! But how?
That is the Big Question in Parenting
How do you teach your children to be emotionally balanced? To be good hearted? How do you teach good character qualities and life principles and instill it deep in their hearts? It's really not as hard
as you may think. Kids love it, no, change that to . . . they are hungry for it! Why else would the second graders be willing to give up recess? They really do want to know! Teach them using a proven
parenting techniques.
Letters from the kids . . .
(Grammar and misspelled words left intact).
". . . come to my classroom next year"
"I learned a lot. I learned that you should think about others just as much as you think about yourself. I liked it when you told us about roots, foundation, and life skills. I hope you can come to my
classroom next year. "
Rebecca
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"I just want to thank you"
"Thank you for teach us so many thing like our life skills and when you taught us the conversation and self discipine and I just want to thank you. You help us so much."
Veronica
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". . . never quit"
"I learned how to start a conversation, and how to persuade, never quit no matter what. We love haveing you as are teacher. Your the best persin in the world. See you this Friday."
Jeffrey
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"I learned . . . honesty and integrity"
"I really learned a lot in your teaching! I learned good manners and honesty and integrity. I liked all your other lessons too."
Gina
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Kids have the capacity to learn and understand some pretty big concepts, like INTEGRITY. Do you know how to teach that? To get it across to them, to actually INSTILL it in their hearts so that it
becomes their own inner star that guides them? How much easier to handle would your child be? These 2nd graders had no difficulty with the concept.
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Children, like all humans,
have Four sides . . .
1. Physical (The Body)
You feed, clothe and keep them active and in good shape.
2. Mental (The Brain)
You send them to school to be educated.
3. Emotional (The Heart)
It, too, must be educated. Done by the parents – YOU – at home.
4. Spiritual (Your Faith)
Gives meaning to life. Without it, the other three do not satisfy us.
Taking care of all four sides produces a "well rounded" individual. As the parent, your obligation is to see that all four sides of your child are cared for and developed. After all, what are parents for? Are
you just a caretaker? A warden? No. You are, and must see yourself as..Teachers, Mentors, Coaches and Guides not only teach their students, cheer them on with praise and encouragement, but also
critique and correct them. You'll notice Critic is not on the list. Why Not Learn proven Parenting techniques.
